Home » News & Blogs » Alarming news from the LHC
Bookmark and Share
Stochastic Scribbles

Alarming news from the LHC

11 Sep 2008, 08:37 UTC
Alarming news from the LHC
(200 words excerpt, click title or image to see full post)

Despite the successful beam circulation in the LHC with no apparent ill effects, it has been revealed the LHC only avoided destroying the Earth because the planet had already been destroyed:

It is our duty to inform you that as of 7:35:05am UTC on September 10, 2008, the Earth has been destroyed.
The destruction of Earth was first reported by Mr Jonathan Barber of Wisconsin, United States, who spotted that his home-made seismic Earth Detector had ceased to give readings at around 8:00am (2am local time). Several other amateur geocide spotters noticed this at the same time but Mr. Barber was the first to place a telephone call to the IEDAB’s Geocide Hotline (+44 115 09Ω 4127, ask for Other Dave) at which point IEDAB officials performed an emergency check of their own instrumentation and verified Mr. Barber’s report, as well as fixing the exact time of geocide.
Evidence is still being collated, but preliminary results suggest that the Earth was destroyed pre-emptively by scientists at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN, Geneva, Switzerland, before the commencement of their experiments to locate the Higgs Boson, as a precautionary measure to ensure that the experiment itself could not result in the ...

Latest Vodcast

Latest Podcast

Advertise PTTU

NASA Picture of the Day

Astronomy Picture of the Day

astronomy_pod